Self-Awareness part 2: Soul Friend

The Foundational Beginning of Leadership Development is self-awareness. In Carson Pue’s incredible leadership book, Mentoring Leaders, he tells a story of a sailing trip he took where he got lost.  He uses it as an analogy in regards to leadership:

“If we are unaware of where we are, or if we have lost our bearing and wandered off course, any leadership we provide may not assist in leading our followers to the desired destination.”

Self-Awareness is recognizing a feeling as it happens, which is the measure of emotional intelligence.

Part 1 of Self-Awareness was creating and following a Purpose or Mission Statement.  The second component of Self Awareness in your leadership is a

Soul Friend 

I recently had a coaching call where my client missed his best friend at work. He felt he was in mourning when his friend left a year ago. Work has been tougher without his friend.  We have all felt this way. In our leadership, we have a deep desire to connect with someone on a deep level which makes productivity fun and enjoyable because you are doing the work with a best friend. 

A Robin to your Batman (Comics/movies)

A Sam to your Frodo (Lord of the Rings)

A Gus to your Shawn (Psych)

A Red to your Andy (Shawshank Redemption) - picture above

A Bubba to your Gump (Forest Gump)

A Jonathan to your David (Old Testament)

A soul friend is a trusted advisor, counselor, confidant, partner, and a lifelong friend. This thought is nice and pleasant to think about, but hard to make a reality. As a coach, I long to have someone to do this job with.

“We leaders need someone in our lives who knows our signature” – Carson Pue

A Soul Friend is a person who provides others with coaching, support, and guidance as they progress along the path toward fulfilling their spiritual and human potential.

Do you have that friend that has the equity to put their arm around your shoulder and walk with you during the good and bad times? Do you have that person who can speak truth into your life rather then being a yes man or woman? Do you have someone that has skill, discernment, honesty, love, and graciousness to be a friend, as well as the permission to kick you in the butt when necessary?

Statistics say most of us don’t. Or maybe you had this person but circumstances pulled you apart.

Chances are you have this person in your work place and you haven’t given them a chance. For your leadership, it is in your best interest to let them in. Ask them deep questions about their work, about life, about their faith, and anything else that can deepen the friendship. This takes time, but it is well worth the effort.

The task of finding a soul friend begins with you being vulnerable enough to let someone take on that role. You are not alone.